Saturday, June 23, 2007

Forgive Yourself

We all have those days when it is hard to look at ourselves in the mirror. For whatever reason, we judge the reflection looking back at us. We hate what we see and turn away. We find things to distract us from our own demeaning self-talk and tend to resist or suppress how we feel so we don't have to deal with it. We don't realize that the simple act of forgiving and accepting ourselves could spare us the pain caused by holding on to self-destructive emotions.

All judgments are a form of resistance. Resistance creates tension, friction, and blockages that lead to pain and suffering. Energy flows freely when there is nothing obstructing it. Judging ourselves is like building a dam that restricts the flow of well being within us. Health and vitality is our natural state if allow our bodies to heal by letting go of the resistance we carry.

Forgiving yourself is the first step to release this resistance. A simple way to do this is to close your eyes and place your hands on your chest over your heart. Allow yourself to take a deep breath and relax for a moment. Now speak to the critical and disapproving part of you that is holding on to your self-judgments and say gently: "I'm sorry. I forgive myself. And now I deeply and completely accept myself."

Forgiving and accepting yourself frees you to experience greater peace and ease. You'll feel yourself lighten up and let go of what you held onto so tightly. Doing so is effortless, and you'll discover that all the effort was in resisting it. Forgiving yourself is letting go and allowing the flow of well being to move through you unrestrained.

So remember the next time you are quick to judge yourself that you can simply let it go and forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. If we didn't, we would never learn and grow. See your challenges as blessings that give you the opportunity to make a new choice to be who you want to be now. We are all doing the best we can in the moment with what we have and know. With each mistake, we gain new knowledge and experience to make a wiser choice. Beating ourselves up about it only strains our progress. Forgiving ourselves frees us up to move ahead.

Most importantly, forgiving yourself is loving yourself. If you aren't loving and accepting yourself, you can't love anyone else in your life fully. You may also notice that in forgiving yourself, you'll find it easier to forgive others you may have held resentments and judgments about. (Hint: Your judgments were never about them anyway... The people in your life are really just reflections of yourself.)

Forgive, Accept, Let Go, Release, Bless, and Love... and you'll be so happy and peaceful. :)


Mark Lane said...

It is good news that forgiveness, or letting go of judgements, is easy and the effort is in resisting the acceptance. You've previously said a lot about the Sedonna Method and I can see that it would be an excellent tool to utilize to let go of judgements that don't want to leave so easily. Forgive ourselves often enough and we can develop an attitude of acceptance, or non-judgement so that forgiveness becomes obsolete. I think it is Bary Neil Kaufman who said,"Where there is no judgement, there is no need for forgiveness". About the issues we have with others being things about ourselves that they are kindly mirroring back to us for our benefit is a belief that can not only help us to forgive others but will aid us in looking at things we were not previously willing to look at but are nonetheless there creating that resistance you talked about. For help on using our judgements of others to see and free ourselves, Byron Katie has a brilliant work titled, Loving What Is, in which she teaches four simple questions we can ask ourselves in order to turn our unhappiness with people, circumstances and events into blessings and freedom for ourselves. Thanks, Nathan, for your helpful words on forgiveness and peace.

Nathan said...

Great comment! I agree that ultimately there is no need for forgiveness if we see the perfection of it all. If it is all happening for the highest good of all concerned, then there is nothing to forgive. The key is to have faith in a benevolent Universe and believe that it is really conspiring to shower us with blessings.